The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

At the edge...
20:49 Aug 30 2006
Times Read: 783

Today it was my name anniversary...Saint Alexander...and what did it bring? Well, I started with humiliation from my former chief doctor and with the confirmation that I will never see my money like the others, continued with problems with the computer and with some organisatory details which were agravated to the point where my computer crashed and it never started again!



But on top of all that, I feel tired, I feel like I acomplished nothing, I feel on the verge of snaping...



Thank you all that showed me support and understanding, thank you all my dear Coven Family, thank you my love, Anahita!

Without you I would've been long gone!



I feel so tired....so...tired...

What the hell?
14:16 Aug 25 2006
Times Read: 793

I opened a thread about my portfolio in the dedicated section of the Forum and got RIA'd not even after 24 hours!!! That makes one wonder: what the fuck? Am I not allowed to open such threads? Am I not allowed to advertise my portfolio?!!!!



This was the message from that thread:



In there you will see images with beautiful Romania, images from the Silentivm, Amorphis and H.I.M concert held in Sibiu, at the Artmania Festival... images from the Black Sea, images with me and my friends, images from Sibiu, Rasnov Stronghold (one of Vlad Tepes's hide-outs), images from the Fortified Church of Cisnadie (where heavy fights took place during the First World War)....

Hope you'll enjoy them!

Happiness...if it doesn't exist, create it!!!!
11:21 Aug 24 2006
Times Read: 797

Happiness is what we create to force ourselves out of the pitfull of darkness we live in, this world of "superior beings" called humanity...Come on, this is just pure crap! We forgot long time ago what truly means to be happy, what life is all about...

Fortunatelly, there are few of us who see the reality in us, who dare to fight the system, who enjoy what it used to be... you know what am I talking about...that's right, The Dreamers! The ones who create worlds and creatures with just one word, one expression, one thought...the ones who dare to love even though they know they might get knocked down, even though they suffer for their feelings, even though they are opressed and made feel like trash by the ones who take advantage of their emotions...But you know what? The time will come and we will rise, we will be the ones who everybody will turn to in search for help, and then, again, we will be weak and because of love we will help and then we'll be trashed down and feel pain and suffering...

My dear friend, suffering and pain is something we have to endure because of what we are, what we represent... wonders of world, "freaks" unaccepted by this cruel reality, beings who have to create their own world and reality in the moments of loneliness, we are the ones who have to create happiness for ourselves because no one else will allow us to feel it in reality...

Don't be afraid to love, don't be afraid to feel... just let pain pass through you, don't fight it, don't keep it inside...redirect it, let it flow and you will see that it will slowly dissapear...

But, in the same time, if the source of your constant pain is near you, get rid of it... don't drown in the illusion of few moments of happiness which, after all, you create... the pain is reality and unfortunatelly until the time will come we will have to deal with reality...and act like real human beings...

Don't despair, don't take it all as a tragedy... remember, all things happen for a reason and there are no coincidences... live for yourself and search for your matrix, the person who will not allow you to feel pain anymore... search for the relief offered by your dreams... dare to be happy in this cruel world...

You will see, everything will turn out ok; remember that you are not alone and that all you need to do is shout for help and help will be there... trust me, it will be allright!!!

Saddness and pain...
11:10 Aug 21 2006
Times Read: 803

Why is this happening? Why do we let our friends get hurt and don't help them? Where are the so-called frinds now, when the pain and suffering is at its peak?

Do not feel sorry for being alive do not apologize for being alive, and never apologize or feel sorry for love...because love is the only thing that makes us what we are...

The ones who enslaves us, the ones who treat us like garbage, the ones who say that love us and act completely the opposite, the ones who don't do anything to help us, the ones who pretend to be something and they are not, all those people DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!! Slowly and painfull...

Never have you been a burden, never had you done anything to apologize for... I am sorry for not being there for you, because friends should stick together in situations like this, for not being able to protect you as I should...

But you never ever have to give up! Just now, when life can get so interesting... The greatness in us comes out in these moments of suffering...and we've seen yours but it is time for you to see it yourself... because the world without you is a more sad, pover and dark world... you deserve and will achieve greatness more than you think, you just have to believe in yourself... and in your destiny...

Think about it, follow your doctor's orders and get rid of the bad influence...

Laptop... I want one!
10:58 Aug 21 2006
Times Read: 804

My sister just bought a laptop and these days I've been working on it because she's out of town...and I must say I was really impressed and I remembered that I wanted one long time ago...and the desire started burning again...I want a laptop, I need a laptop!!!! But I have to restrain myself and hope that somewhere in the future I will be able to purchase one(of course, by that time laptops will be obsolete and we all will have some kind of computer implants or so and I will have to buy the laptop from the museum, but by God, I will have a laptop!!!!)...

What the Fuck??????????!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12:21 Aug 16 2006
Times Read: 807

You know that feeling when you are pissed off by something that happened to you, then you manage to calm down then, out of nowhere, you click on something, read it and feel the rage raising inside you stronger than ever, feeling like saying: if I meet that guy I will fucking kill him!!!!!???? Well, I just read something and my teeth started closing the gap, I feel like something inside me is boiling and I think to myself: what the fuck is wrong with that dude?!!!!! I mean, if I were there, near that woman and saw the way that guy was treating her and the way she felt (or the way he made her feel) first of all I would slap her for thinking low about herself, I would tell her that he doesn't deserve her and she should kick him out of the house on the spot, then I would shout and scream my lungs out at him, and tell him to stay the fuck away from her because otherwise he will know pain in a way he never imagined!!!!

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TREAT HER LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!

I, as a a man, I am horrified by the way she ended up thinking about herself because of you!!!! If I could, I would teach you the hard way how to treat a woman who's done everything for you and received nothing in exchange... You fucking pig!!!!! YOU DON'T OWN HER!!!!! SHE IS NOT YOUR SLAVE!!!!!! If there was a God, He would send you to Hell on the spot!!!!

Christ!!!!! I need something to release my anger!!!!

Things I don't agree with...
23:03 Aug 14 2006
Times Read: 809

Well, I am a man and some think that as a man I should act like the majority of the pig farm and treat women like dirt...well, I don't act like that and I certainly don't agree men that think that they can treat women badly and somehow make them feel guilty for the whole situation...This is pure crap!

Women are more sensible than us and when thay have weak moments IT IS NOT OUR OBLIGATION TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT!!!!!

I will never agree to the phrases like " If you love me you will do this or that..." or like "I gave up this or that for you..."...or" this is a woman's job, you will have to do it and like it, because you love me/I love you"...This is just something so lame and so sick that this type of guys should be...!!!! I will not say it because I might upset somebody...I mean, how unsecure, desperate and stupid do you have to be or, worse, what are your true intentions with that woman who fell for you that you will say that and treat her like less than garbage? WOMEN ARE NOT SLAVES!!!! And if you say you really love her, you will never, and I mean NEVER, treat her like that...because it is wrong and despicable... and I hate men who do that!!!!!

Updated list
21:46 Aug 09 2006
Times Read: 816




Zodat

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Ahriman

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DedLocke

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Jakyna

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Anahita

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Favourite moment
22:30 Aug 08 2006
Times Read: 819

My favourite moment of the day... when I come home and I see her there, hug her and then we spend the day together until she falls asleep and I watch her sleep...the feeling I have when I see her and hug her knowing that we'll spend the day together is the most beautiful feeling in the world!

Trip to see H.I.M - Day Two
15:32 Aug 02 2006
Times Read: 822

Hmm...this is a little bit hard...I don't quite remember all that happened that day...

Anyway, we got up at 11 AM, if I remember correctly...we ate around 12...then, at 1 PM we left for Sibiu, in order to find out where the concert will be held and to locate the other clubs and buildings where there was supposed to take place various manifestations during the Festival...

Anyway, we walked around the area where the next day was gonna be the concert, visited some historical sites, took pictures of the area and then, around 6 PM we went to the Stage Club, where the opening act of the Festival took place...

Here I made my very first contact with the real rock community...and it felt good!

There is not really too much to say, but that night was a night of rediscover for me...seeing all that people dancing and singing on the same level and acting as one being was great!

Of course, giving the fact that there was romanian fixture plan, and that some bands thought they are too important to talk to us, the schedule was a little disturbed but the bands who were supposed to play did it and it was awesome!

There were two romanian bands, Seven from Cluj and Still Crazy from Sibiu who, I am sorry to say for some people, would kick ass of any H.I.M and H.I.M - alike bands and who could stand up to any metal and heavy-metal bands anywhere!